EJ
JJ: I feel it is my duty to report this "Best Drunk Nomination" to the masses. The incident occurred on one fateful night in Pennsylvania trip while staying at the Black Forest Inn. Now, when it comes to drinking one could consider EJ a professional. He reported that he hasn't thrown up from alcohol in over 15 years. Well, something didn't sit right with him one night and when he woke up things weren't going well. He decided to walk over to the bathroom and pee while he assessed the situation. Yep, his streak was about to end. So, EJ assumed the position and threw up in the toilet. Yeah, feeling better... wait... here comes round two. Ok, much better now.
What? This isn't much of a "Best Drunk" story? Well, when EJ finally stood up from his violent episodes, he noticed two piles of poop on the floor. He pooped each time he threw up! As luck would have it, he decided to go to bed commando that night so escaped any laundry issues. Just had to clean up a couple of piles of poop, in the middle of the night, tired and drunk. Fun! Thankfully, Matty was able to sleep through all of this as this is an image no brother should have to endure.

Side note: Thus was born a new motto... "Party till ya pop!"

Hollywood..... NYE Palmer House Hotel

(As told by Renny).. Or should this be Julie???
I was poured into bed while you all partied in the jacuzzi tub, and was out like a light. I awoke to hear pounding at the door to the room (I heard a series of knocks at least 8 or 9 times!). I wondered what the hell is that noise, and decided to inspect. I walked from my room, thru Jon & Julie's room to the door. As I opened the door, there stood Jon in his boxers. I let him in & went to bed. I guess Jon forgot the layout of the hotel and wandered out into the hall to find a bathroom. As the door shut behind him, he thought 'oh shit' and realized that he was locked out and the bathroom was in our room. (Not a shared bathroom in the hallway like in Alma or Montgomery). Whoops!!

Jon T:
As I'm knocking on the door, softly at first, there are several loud people downstairs at the bar talking. Julie is laying only 5 feet from the door, I would knock and softly call Juliiieee, Juuulliiieeeeeeee, knock, Knock, KNOCK. I suddenly hear from down stairs - Dude, did you hear that? LOL I guess I was the ghost of New Years at the Palmer House.

Fliptender.....Sturgis
Sunday night @ The Buffalo Saloon... It's late, mistakes have already been made, Fliptender needs to take a leak and off he goes. About 10 minutes later, he still hasn't come back, I thought nothing of it until I get a text message for him.
"Hey Asshole... I'm locked in the bathroom"

The door to the bathroom is about 8 feet from where I'm standing so I leap to the rescue. I push open the bathroom door right behind Fliptender, He's facing the wrong direction. I got there just in time to prevent him from kicking down the utility storage closet door. He slowly turns around, figures out what's going on, and agrees without question when I suggest.

"Ummm, I think it's time to go."

Drunkle Dave.....Sturgis

Titty Alley/Camp - First Jenga'd, then helped to bed. Got him in bed, face down, dressed with his boots on. Rolled out of bed, got stuck between the bed and the wall and spent 10 minutes kicking the wall trying to get his pants off!

Aunt Betty..... Girl's Ride, Twin Pines

Late night text to Uncle Dave:
"Tuedseies aek nits going to bec. Waytibg for glassyo meanly."

Southsider..... One Summer Night.....

Joe leaves HIMSELF three drunk voicemails. The next day, he couldn't figure out how he did it!

Joe was drunk calling the Den, while he rambled on and on... we called him with another phone and when we got his voicemail, we held the two phones together such that he was talking to himself (his own phone!) leaving a voicemail!

Harold..... October 30th Halloween Party

Harold has had a fun night. He's had a bit to drink, he's violated both my motorcycles and generally just had a good time! Linda decides "it's time to go home honey!" There's about 8 or 10 of us left around the bar. It took him 10 or 15 minutes to say goodnight, he addressed the group, making some sort of weird statement which he repeated at least 5 times. Problem was... we could not understand a single word he said... not one single word!
There's a chance that he was speaking Danish? I dunno, I don't speak Danish myself and was laughing to hard anyway to figure it out!

For the record..... here is what Harold kept repeating to us:

To små drenge står og tisser op ad et hegn.
Den ene kigger på den andens tissemand og udbryder:
- "Din tissemand ser sgu lidt skæg ud gør den ikk'?"
- "Så skulle du se min søsters, den er helt smadret!"

Huh?

Uncle Dave..... June, Boulder Junction, WI

Walk home from the Boulder Junction Beer Bar through the "Killing Fields".

Matty..... 11/4/2008 @ Gator's house..... is wasted and needs to go to bed... but he has to pee first! He's a little "wobbly" so I help him to the bathroom, point him at the toilet and let go of him... He proceeds immediately to do a header straight into the wall! LOL

So I get him back upright, get him into position and put his hand on the counter and tell him to HOLD ON. I close the door and take two steps away when I hear a gawd awful loud crashing from inside the bathroom! LOL I open the door and Matty is laying on his back in the bathtub, all wrapped up in the shower curtain and bent shower rod, hands and feet flailing in the air, unable to extract himself!

So I manage to haul him out and get him to his feet again... This time I tell him, dude... you gotta turn around and SIT DOWN to pee!!!

Well, about 45 minutes later we finally went into the bathroom, picked him up off the floor and put him to bed on the couch! Too bad my freaking camera battery was dead!